Partly cloudy skies early will give way to cloudy skies late. Low around 60F. Winds NE at 5 to 10 mph..

Partly cloudy skies early will give way to cloudy skies late. Low around 60F. Winds NE at 5 to 10 mph.

Before we get started, I would ask that you not throw rocks at my house if you disagree with today’s column. I spent a lot of money last fall to have the house painted; it has a couple of very expensive new windows as well as a new front door with retractable screen, but I know how sensitive and irate pet owners can be.

I will also be thoroughly transparent by telling you I have had dogs and cats most of my adult life and would never want to be without. I have researched and written an extensive magazine article on the breeding and training of service dogs and fully believe in the power of emotional healing, companionship, and the peace an animal can bring. All that being said, I have a question. Are you people freaking nuts?

Not all of you, I know. But there is a scam going on out there whereby people go online and without filling out any paperwork are able to purchase a collar for their pet that reads, “Emotional Support Animal” or “Therapy Dog.” They can’t wait to put it around those furry necks so they can feel they now have both license and permission to bring that animal into every store or public place they want.

I have seen everything from a squirrel in a cage (aren’t they rodents?) to a ferret draped around a freaky looking tattooed guy’s neck (I couldn’t figure out which one was scarier), to a kid with a goldfish bowl in a stroller wheeled mindlessly by his Dad (wonder who was the “mindless” one)? I saw a sweet-looking miniature horse tied to a bike rack outside a big box store, and a large dog wearing sunglasses brought through the cabin of a commercial jet.

I am 100% in favor of animals that have been trained to provide physical or emotional assistance and support to those who have the greatest need. There is an undeniable animal-human bond that has worked miracles in hospital settings, nursing homes, and in crisis situations. Dogs are often used in family court to calm children who have been victims of domestic, sexual, or emotional abuse; in airports to quiet and center passengers who are terrified of flying; and are invaluable to those who are blind, hearing impaired, or otherwise handicapped. Horses play a major role in helping those with mental disabilities, autism, or cognitive issues, so it is not these animals nor these situations I question.

I do, however, question the woman stocking shelves in a Walmart northeast of Westerly who for the past seven years has been allowed to bring her dog to work. Not in an office or the back room, but right out in the middle of the aisle without collar, leash, or restraint, just standing there watching his person work. This is a place of heavy traffic, a place that stocks food, a place that little more than a year ago had us all gloved and masked before WE were allowed in.

I believe in solutions, therefore, I would like to apply to be someone’s comfort or therapy person. I’d be good at it too. I’m pretty small and could fit in the overhead. I don’t eat a lot; God knows, I’ve had all my shots, I don’t shed much, and I’m reasonably obedient...most of the time. Just read to me, pat my head, pay to have my nails done (I’d love that!), and buy me a nice collar. I’m fond of navy or dark green, and rhinestones wouldn’t hurt. Spaying is not an issue.

In the meantime, folks, it’s summer. It’s hot. So please do not leave your dog, cat, iguana, gerbil, or whatever in your car, not even for “only a minute while I just run in quick.” That, however, does not mean you have free license to bring Cujo into Walmart where he hangs out of a shopping cart nipping and growling at passersby. Here’s a novel idea: leave him home. If it’s just for a little while he won’t mind. Really. If you’re afraid he’ll get lonely, leave the TV on, set to some innocuous game show or daytime talk show co-hosted by a bunch of idiot left-wing blowhards who scream at each other. Cujo or Fluffy will be so glad to see you when you return they’ll drool their gratitude, head in your lap.

After all, what other kind of therapy do you need?

Rona Mann has been a freelance writer for The Sun for 20 years, including her “In Their Shoes” features. She can be reached at six07co@att.net or 401-539-7762.

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